Latest Happenings

I cannot believe how busy that I can keep myself! It is good. I have so many projects that I want to finish and it just keeps me going.

Of course my main concern is my family. It is hard to keep up to everything that we have going on. Mikes work is still slow and that puts a strain on us as parents to be able to keep up with everything. It seems that you just pay the bills and then bill time comes again, but pay days take forever to come!!! It is humbling for us to go through this and makes us both really appreciate our jobs even more. (Even though he really does not like his)

It makes me think back to old times when all they did was worry where their next meal was coming from. That would be very hard to handle with your children. Don't know how Emma Smith stayed to strong and endured what she did. She had to have been a great lady. My stress is nothing compared to what her and her family went through. Even when I am down and depressed I can always think of somebody who is in a lot worse situation than I am and it seems that I can pull myself back. I have never been a real depressed person but since the surgeries and chemo, for some reason it has been harder for me. The doctors say it is common when someone loses major organs and want to put me on anti depressants but I think they have put my body through enough drugs!!! Enough already! I am doing it with pray and trying to keep up on my scripture reading. I have also made a commitment to try and bake some bread and take to someone at least once a week and it is so fun to see the expressions on the faces of the random people when they get hot bread. I love hot bread so I think everybody should love it also.

People helped my family so much in the last 2 years and now it is time for me to return the favors to other people. I pray every day to be sensitive to others people needs so that I can help them the way people helped me.

I love my Heavenly Father and the strength that he gives me in my trails. One scripture that I have loved is in Alma 37:37 "Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good; yea, when thou liest down at night lie down unto the Lord, that he may watch over you in your sleep; and went thou risest in the morning, let thy heart be full of thanks unto God; and if ye do these things, ye shall be lifted up at the last day."

My next scripture I received came to me by inspiration from some angel looking down on me. I was on my way to the doctor in Salt Lake for a check up and was so nervous and down and depressed. We were early, (Patty took me to this one) and we decided to walk around the Salt Lake Temple. I just wanted to sit at the Christ Statue in the visitor center. As I was sitting there the cutest little sister missionary came and sat by me and ask if everything was OK. As soon as she asked me the tears started. I told her what I was going through and I am sure she could tell because chemo patients always have a certain look about them. She then told me about her dad who had died of cancer and left 10 kids behind. She was the oldest of the kids and just talked to me about what she did to get through it. I felt for her mother and could not imagine how hard that would have been. She immediately went to the scripture in Ether 12:27 "And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then I will I make weak things become strong unto them." I just loved it. I left the temple grounds so uplifted and comforted. All because this cute little missionary was in tune and sensitive to my need. I hope and pray I can help people, even in a little way.

In church yesterday Bro Ron Campbell gave a talk and he talked about all of Ether 12. He called it his PFD (personal floatation devise) and likened it to being in a sinking boat. He talked about how this chapter was so important to him and helped him through much. I immediately took to it because I knew that this scripture was in there. I have read it before but never in the way I did yesterday. It gave me such hope and just touched my heart. It is now my PFD!!!!
I also love this scripture in D&C 84:88 "And whoso receiveth you, there I will be also, for I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left,and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you to bear you up."

This is how I know that he has many Angels working for Him, both living and dead. Thanks to the people who have touched my life! I know Heavenly Father used them as instruments and I thank Him and his angels for touching my life!

Having Fun!!!

It has been so long since I wrote that I decided I had just better sit down and do it. Life has been so busy. I don't know why I let myself get so busy again. I am still pretty slow at things and I still get tired really easy. I get involved in a project that would normally take me a day and it takes me two. I have been cleaning our closets and cupboards and hauling junk to DI like crazy. It needed it before I got sick so now it is really bad. Health wise I am doing rally well. Still have my bad days with the intestines (or lack of intestines) but over all I cant complain. I am still learning the what to eat and what not to eat. I go next week for my next cancer marker test and a cat scan. Sort of scared but I am sure it will be fine.

As for the family life we have just been chasing kids all over the country. Starting with Nathan, he is playing football and it so busy with practice and games and school. They practice alot and it gets old real fast doing the carpool thing. I have read alot of good book! They won there division and are in the playoffs now. They play on Sat. soooo we will see if we have to keep up the carpool thing. Double edge sword. You want them to win but are so tired of the practices.

Karli is keeping really busy with school, beauty school, and work. She leaves at 7 am and sometimes does not get home till 10 pm. She is doing an awesome job at cosmetology school and so far loves it. I love it also. Being a senior she still has alot going on.

Sydney is at Colorado Northwestern still playing volleyball. She is on the road almost every weekend and has seen alot of country. She just got back from Canada on Monday, so she really gets to see some neat stuff. We have gone and watched her play a couple of times and it is fun so see her.

I don't like my kids being away from me. I wish they were 11, 10, and 6 again. I miss my little kiddys. Time has gone soooo fast. Don't get me wrong, I do like the getting bigger stages but I sure miss the little ones they used to be!

Mike got to go to Alaska fishing in Sept and did he ever have a blast. It has been a dream of his ever since I met him to go to Alaska so I am so glad the opportunity came for him. He deserves it especially since the last almost 2 years all he did was take care of me and the kids. They were gone for 8 days and brought back almost 100 lbs of halibut and salmon. It is the best. I would eat it every night if we could. Loved this Alaskan sunset.

Nathans 12 yr birthday August 16, 2009

He just had to have his remote control car!!

Nathan got ordained a deacon on his birthday. He was so excited to receive the preisthood. His dad ordained him on Aug 16, 2009 at the bishops office. Marion Harper, Arlene Pitcher, Karli Pitcher and Baxton Udy came to see the ordaining. It was a very special ordaning and we all felt the spirit that was there.

Then he went home for cake and ice cream with all his cousins!!!!

Mike birthday Aug 8 2009

On the 8 of Aug we had mike birthday. They seem to be less importnant when you get older We has kevin and Kris and

aspen over for cake and ice cream!!!!

Aug 29 2009 Was our 23rd aniversary

We were married on August 29, 1986 and have been happily married for 23 years. They have been some of the best years of my life!!!! Sure we never disagree on anything and he always does exactly as I say, and he knows that I am always right! If he just would just do that we would never have any problems and our lives would be perfect, But we are like most couples and we both have our own ideas and we tend to do what we want, We seen to have a really good balance because after 23 years we should have figured it out I would think, Now for real, I think I married the best man that I could have, He really does revolve around me and the kids, and I could say I revolve around him and the kids, I am so happy that I have him and I am so proud of the priesthood that he has brought into our home, It is so different to see what having our family sealed to us has done, don't get me wrong, we still have problems and can feel the adversary work on all us but we wont back down, I love Mike with all my heart and Cant thank him enough for what he did for me and my family when I was sick. What a strength he was for all of us. He packed us all on his shoulders and got us through some of the toughest times that I hope and pray that we never have to go through again , So I am honored to be his wife and mother to his kids for 23 yrs. We celebrated it in Twin Falls watching our first born daughter play volleyball and also took "Mom Pitcher with us. It was a fun couple of days but I wish we Had more time up there. We went to the Shoshone Falls and saw how beautiful they were. Yes is was windy so my hair is funny but oh well.......

Life on the Fast Run

WOW has my life caught up with the fast pace again, When I was sick I told my self that I was not going to get caught up in it again. I hate the busy life's that we all have and we don't take time to even visit with friends, So I went and visited with our friends Shaun and Sherry Hamilton that we have not seen for a while, It was fun. I am really going to try to keep it so that I and my family can and will stop and smell the roses!
Mike left for Alaska with 6 other guys, Kyle Smith, Gerald Bingham, Mike and I will fill in the others later, He called me today and they don't take the boats out on Sunday and I thought that was neat that they observe the Sabbath up there. He said it is pretty and they are right by a volcano. I will write more on it when he gets back.

Karli started Cosmetology school last week and so far is loving it, She always did have a natural knack at doing it so I know she will do and awesome job, She leaves from Mountain Crest and car pools with 2 other girls and drives to Brigham. It is a good deal for the students to start in high school. She is lucky and will probably get to go full time next semester.

Nathan is playing football and so far they have a 2-1 record. He always plays really well and loves playing, He plays defensive end and linebacker. In crunch times he pulls him in on offense to help out. They are fun to go and sit back with friends and family and to watch the games.

We got to see Sydney last weekend at CSI in Twin Falls. She looks so good and really played pretty good. They did lose but they played some hard teams that is way out of our league. But they hung in there and did not do to bad. This weekend she is in Arizona playing in another tournament. They won there first game and she was so excited. Uncle Neil and Amy and Carson and Cole went up and watched her play and said she played awesome. Of course we always miss the bet games it seems. Sometimes we think if we stayed away they would always do better but we just love to watch them play. He said she served 9 straight and brought then back to win the game. These are some pictures of the CSI tournament. The team she plays for is CnCC. It was sure sad to leave her there.

Things this week for my body has been actually pretty good. Best week in over a year and a half. YAYA Not for my mind though. We took Sydney to Colorado for school and hauled her stuff up for her. She has been having a ball. I am excited for her and her new adventures in life. It is so weird thinking that she is that old and that both of our lives will never be the same. I already miss my little girl terribly but I do realize that she has grown up and this is a great new step for her. Before she left we had some fun days that meant so much to me. We went shopping and to lunch, and to the opera,( paid $45 for her seat and she slept through the last act!) It was still fun for me. The family went to the Oquher Temple open house and then to lunch and then to the Gateway Mall in SLC. It was a fun day with the family. We took some family pictures at a little park by the temple. Was very hot so we had to hurry. The temple was beautiful.

The girls love to poise for pictures!

These are some of my favorite flowers that are on my deck! I love my deck that Mike built for me. I spent alot of time on it when I was sick and I grew to love it even more. It is so peaceful out there. I love to sit out there and read or just sit and think.

Also Nathan played in a 3 on 3 basketball tournament and they did awesome! Here is a couple of cute shots of him. Dribbling the ball and then shooting.







He also played in his final Under the Lights baseball game and hit a home run. This picture is of him hitting the ball and then coming into home plate. He was excited. Mike told him he would but him a Ipod for a home run! Now Mike does not know what to do!

One Year Aniversary

Today is the one year anniversary of losing my best friend "Colon". Really, Mike is my best friend but I sure do miss my colon. Things are getting better but it is a long slow road. I keep thinking of the drive down to the hospital last year and my anticipation, and excitement, and most of all my fear. I remember sitting in the back of the car and looking out the window at everybody going on with life, and going to work, or going to have fun. I thought how could they be doing that when I am fighting for my life! I thought the world should stop also. I know that it can't and it won't and it shouldn't but so many feelings go through you when you have major trials in your life. I never realized how hard it would be to live with out it. It did save my life so I really am grateful for the doctors and the modern medicine that we have now. Sitting in the hospital and waiting, and then the prep for the operation. Mike by my side then the anesthesiologist walking in, and then not remembering the next day of my life. Waking up and seeing Mike with me again after a 7 hour surgery. I love him so much! I will also never forget waking up and having a ilostomy bag attached to me. It was so dreadful at first learning to take care of it and learning how to empty it without getting it on you. I learned pretty fast because after a short time it just became second nature. Not fun but second nature. It really was not that bad. lol I just hated trying to find clothes that would work with it so you did not notice it. I feel for the people who have to have them for the rest of there lives. That would be very hard. Last night I was not having a real good night and Mike ask me if I wanted my bag back. NO! I will put up with what I have to. This picture is of the stoma that you attached the bag to. It is literally a part of my small intestine outside of the skin. It stays very clean is is amazing to watch how it functions. This was a couple of days after the surgery. I decided to spare you on the picture of the bag attached. (Sad so say I did not want one of it so I would not let Mike take one of it. Wish I had one now!)

Also last year, one year from the 26th of July our friends Terral and Trishelle called and was on their way down to Primary Children's with their little girl Madalyn. She had a brain tumor and needed emergency surgery the next day. Sad to say she never made it and her funeral is today. It is a heavy hearted day for me watching her go through what we both went through but my pulling through it and Madalyn not being able to. I am glad for her to be out of her pain and being with her family in heaven.

I am thankful for the gospel in my life and for the many blessing that have come to us. We have been blessed in good and bad ways but heavenly Father has always been there for us. He was with me day and night when I was sick and I felt his presence many times with me and with our family. He is real and he will always be there for us. I am glad for what I went through and for what I learned about him. Also for the special things that happened to us. Many are very private for me but know, he was there and he knows who I am. I love my Heavenly Father with all my heart and I know that he is real. I am also grateful for Eternal marriages and family. It is such a comfort to know that you will always be together.

Life sure does know who to keep you going doesn't it. I just got back from Colorado on Monday. I took Syd down and we got her registered and almost ready for school. You sure could tell it was our first in college. We were running around like our heads were cut off. We did not know what we were doing! Finally it came together. It was not as hard as we made it so next year it should be alot easier. She had to stay down to a volleyball camp all week. She has been calling and is loving it. They brought in a coach from Oklahoma to do the camp and Syd said she has learned so much. She has made some really good friends on the team. She met with some of them earlier in the summer and they had a party to get to know each other. Since then she has talked to them alot, so it made it alot easier to start down there. On the other hand I absolutely miss her. I never saw her when she was home so don't know why I am being so booby about it. Just knowing she is gone and will be gone has been hard on me. She is just a good friend to me and alot of help. I am excited for her though and excited for her and her new experiences. The coach really likes her and pulled her aside yesterday and just built her confidence so much. He has liked what he has saw so far so I just hope and pray she will do for him what he expects. I have liked him also. Very personable and has always kept contact with her all summer.
Last night Karli, Nathan and I, and some of their friends went swimming. We went for pizza and then swimming. It was fun watching them. They are crazy. Just so glad they are home for me. I hate being alone. Mike was working so we just decided to do something fun.
The flowers in my yard are getting so pretty. I just love flower gardens and the smell of them. I will put pictures on later.

Life in the fast lane!

Life is fast for me. Only when I have to run to the bathroom. Get out of my way! It is getting better but it has been a hard week. Yesterday and today was really alot better. I am really trying not to MURMUR. I read a conference talk on it but when you are still trying to deal with the Stolen Colon it is really hard sometimes. I miss my colon! It will be a year on July 18 since my first surgery. Many memories are haunting me this week but only because it was a bad week.

I sent Mike and Nathan camping without me today but I will join them tomorrow. I needed one more day at home. He is making sure the camper is OK since we have not been up there since last year. We have a RV spot at Cedar Bay in Idaho and we leave everything there so we just have to show up with the food and then camp.

Syd is getting ready to go to school and I am not liking the idea. I will miss her so much. I am excited for her though. She will be busy playing Volleyball and on the road alot. The even get to play in Canada. Karli and Nathan are going to miss her to. The picture is me crying and Karli mad that she did not graduate yet. Next year Karli! I am so glad that they will still be home with me. I am excited for camping tomorrow. We have not done anything fun for along time as a family because of my cancer.

Got my hair cut today and love it. It makes you feel better if you like how your hair goes.

Life is still not what I thought it would be but getting better. lol I went for my 3 month blood test and it came up that my levels were low. I had not been feeling very good and was always tired so I should not have been surprised. Ben Jacob could not figure out why it was low. Told me to get more rest. I am so tired of being tired! The good news is that my cancer marker came back negative again. A big plus there. This week I do feel better and I am glad.
I am paying today for my over indulgence last night. Every once in a while I have to eat what I want and miss, so the hot wings, ice cream and jerky is not letting me forget it. I really do pay dearly. Then I am mad because it really was not worth it!

Mike had his colonoscopy and it was very emotional for me to be in the same place, same room, same doctor. It brought back alot of memories. He did really well but they did have to take out 3 polyps and he has to have another one in three years. I was hoping for the 10 year clear. The night before his colonoscopy Nathan came in and layed by me and was asking about Dad and when we would be home and etc. Then he got up and went and layed by Mike and told him good luck and asked if he would have cancer. We reassured him it would be OK and so he got up and walked out and said "what would the chances of both my mom a dad having colon cancer" He is always so sensitive and caring about other people.
Today is fathers day and we had a fun day. We went and ate after church and then just took it easy. Mike is such and amazing husband and father. I love him so much and could not have found a better match for me. He is so good to me and the kids.
Yesterday was the family reunion that I was in charge of and it is nice to have it over. It was cold and rained but I think it turned out fun. We have not had warm weather this summer yet. It is always raining and cold. My yard is so pretty though. I love the green mountains and the valley with all the green. Even though we complain about the rain it is still beautiful. We ahve seen some of the prettiest rainbows this spring. I love life even with its trails. I love my family so much!!!

A sad day approached in our family. I thought this day would never come but it has came way to fast. Sydney graduated from high school, June 2. When you have that little baby in your arms you think that graduation is like forever away, but really it is just around the corner. It was fun to see her and her friends graduate. There were 473 in her graduating class, so it was alot different that when I graduated. I had a whole 20 in my class. She went out and did the all night party at the Fun Park and she did have fun. Till it was time to come home and she went and got a speeding ticket. We were not to happy about that.

On May 28th she graduated for Seminary and they had a nice dinner for the graduates and the parents. It was really a fun week for her and we are excited for her and her new adventures in life. She leaves Aug 1 for school and that day is coming really fast. She has to be there a month early for volleyball practice. Karli was sad seeing Syd graduate, because she wishes is would have been her. Her day will be here before we all know it.

Things are slowly getting back to normal at our house. My strenght is slowly coming back. Not as fast as I would like but is is nice to feel good again. Mikes work is still real slow and we are praying that it picks up real soon. Karli and Syd might be supporting us with the way things are going. They have better jobs than we do it seems! I am just glad they have the jobs they do. Nathan wants a job also but it is kinda hard for an 11 year old boy to find work. I am getting ready for the family reunion on the 20th. My sisters always do such good and fun things. I am pretty boring. We are just going to Willow Park so they can go th the zoo or whatever they want.

I just love my family and watching them do things that they love to do! Life is so beautiful! I am so thankful that I am able to be here with them longer and see them grow some more. I love my sisters and mom to. They helped our family so......much get through the last year and half. What would we do without our families. I love you all!

Spring has finally sprung. (I hope)

I had a good day yesterday! I went to the surgeons and had my 3 month check up. He was really pleased with my progress and said that my J pouch looked perfect, in fact it looked beautiful. (if they can be beautiful). He showed it to Mike and I on the screen and it was amazing seeing how he rebuilt me. I cant believe the things that they can do. It is always very stressful for me to make that drive up the hill and then walk in the doors to the hospital. His office is on the 2nd floor of the hospital so it is all in one place. Lots of memories there. It was sure good to see him so pleased. I told him that at times I almost feel normal and his comment back was "Darlene, you are never going to be normal" I wondered how I should have taken it. I have never been normal. Mike is excited that I can do some work around the house now. He even gives me jobs! Can you believe that? I love it. It takes me awhile to do them but everyday I get a little stronger. I cant believe how much it takes out of you. This is the picture of Dr. Brad Sklow and Dr, Julie O'Brian. Julie and I have always hit it off real well and talk on the phone sometimes also. She always wants to know how my kids are and I her kids. We really do have alot in common. She even went to Utah State for 4 years on the gymnastics team. Her kids are involved in sports like mine are. I love both of them for what they did for me. Next month I go to Dr. Ben-Jacob for my cancer marker. I know it will be fine.

I am helping Sydney get ready for graduation. I am excited for her but sad for me. I don't want any of the kids to leave. She is so excited. I will post more after graduation and put some pictures on of her. This is one of her senior pictures. She is so beautiful. I love my kids. Karli is still busy working at Lee's and Nathan has started baseball. Mike and Nathan went to the Father/son ward camp out tonight. Nathan was so excited he about drove us crazy.

I planted flowers today and it felt wonderful. It is therapy to me to work in the yard. I really missed that last summer. I planted alot of pots and one flower bed. It looks so pretty. Arlene gave me some solar lights and I put them in the pots. I love them and how it all looks on my deck.

Enjoying Life

Yes, I am starting to feel like a real person again. I do still have problems with my Stolen Colon but I am trying to get it figured out. It makes no sense to me because everyday is so different. One day diaria and bad BB and the next I feel fine. I get real nauseated and throw up and then feel fine. I am just shy of the 3 month mark and it has litterly just been the last month that I have felt better. I go to the doctors in 2 weeks and am not looking forward to that. They really invade my privacy. Yuk. I did get a good laugh at Mike a couple of days ago. I made an appointment for him to get a COMPLETE physical. I am paranoid now about our health. The doctor was so funny and when he did a certain exam on Mike we both just laughed. Mikes face was so red. It was so funny. I had not laughed that hard in a long time! Mike is getting his colonoscopy in the next couple of weeks. We decided to wait until I was done and now it is his turn. Everything does look good for him though.
The kids are just busy with school getting over and Sydney is so excited to graduate. Karli is wishing she was graduating. Nathan has started baseball and am I glad. He needs to stay busy. Gidget is driving us crazy and Mike kicked Quito out of the garage and we have not seen her since. I loved that cat. All the neighboring cats loved her to and they all wanted to be in our garage and that's why when it warmed up Mike booted her out.
It has not been a very warm spring but we keep wishing!!! My family is all meeting at my Moms on Sat. for a yard clean up to help her. She says she has easy jobs for me in the house since I still don't have all my strength back. I has been hard to get it back. Taking longer that I wanted or expected. I am going to work at Bridgerland everyday and love it. I am so glad to get out of the house. I can come and go as I want so when I get tired I can just come home and rest. They are so good to me there.
Mikes work still is not very busy so it had been hard to keep up with everything. The medical bills have not been fun and we even have pretty good insurance. We are not alone on this one though. Times are tough for most people right now. I hope our country can pull out of it before it gets much worse.

Better Late Than Never!

March is Colon Cancer Awareness Month. The blue star is the symbol of hope for a cure for colon cancer.
When you combine men and women, colorectal cancer is the second most commonly diagnosed cancer and the second leading cause of cancer death. Karli came home from school the other day and said "Mom did you know that colon cancer is the second leading cause of cancer death?" Of course I said "Yes honey. Why do you think we were so upset? " I was in a very advanced stage and then the FAP cancer to boot. I thank my Heavenly Father that I am still here!
With regular screenings, colon cancer can be found early. Screenings can even prevent it by removing polyps. (I had hundreds. That is why they had to remove my whole colon)
Unfortunately majority of colon cancers are not found early.
A colonoscopy is not that bad. Seriously. Get over it if fear is your excuse.
If you see blood in your stool or have had a change in popping habits, talk to you doc. Don't be embarrassed, they have seen and heard much worse. Do not let them blow you off, tell you your too young or don't have any risk factors. And don't think it is just all the red licorice you ate. GET YOUR COLONOSCOPY!

Things are going alot better for me now. I am slowly getting my strength back and have been going into work at Bridgerland. I think my hair days are about over. I really like working there and they have been so good to me. My body is not adjusting to no colon as fast as I would like but it is coming along. I have found that more foods bother me now than at first. I try to be really careful about my food because I really pay if I don't. The worst part of the whole thing now is the BUT BURN. Oh.....Oh.....Oh...... It is not fun. I am trying all kinds of things. From medicine for the cows to Maalox to Aloe Vera. Not fun. It is better than the alternative though.
We are going to Price tomorrow with Sydney. They want her to talk about playing Volley ball for them. She has already verbally committed to Colorado and she still thinks that is where she wants to go but we wanted her to at least see what they have to offer. It is also good experience for her I think. If she goes to Colorado we will be able to see alot of her games because they play alot in Utah. Karli and Nathan are still just going to school and starting to want it to get out for the summer. Nathan is starting baseball next week. that will be good for him and get him out of the house. Sydney and Karli are both still working at Lee's. they are good to them.
Mike and I are just ready to maybe get back to a normal life. It will never be the same because of my health but I am glad to just be here.

WARNING
The next section talkes aabout burping and farting!
Proceed with caution!

Hi again.
Sorry it has taken so long to get back to you. This is me leaving the Huntsman and you can see Mom in the doors behind me. Then Mike Nathan and I on my couch.
I had my surgery on Feb 6,2009. The surgery went well and guess what. NO BAG! The only thing I really remember about the first day is in the recovery room I woke up for a minute and said "let me see my belly." When I looked down all there was was a bunch of bandages and I asked if my bag was gone. When they said yes I don't remember a thing till the next morning.
Even though my surgery was a success as true to my history I still had to have all my usual problems. My 3-5 day hospital stay ended up being 15 days. I was so nauseated again. For some reason my stomach held all this gas in it. All I would do was burb but it would not get it all out. And so I could not even fart. If I could it would have helped also. My stomach was so bloated that it was hard and when Sydney got there to see me she said "Mom, YOU LOOK PREGNANT!"
I promised I was not but it really did look funny. After so long of not releasing the gas and not being able to keep anything down it really took a toll on me mentally. If I ate anything it would just come right back up. But the bad thing was for days they keep giving me nausea medicine so I would just hang over the big garbage can off my bed till I could throw up. Then I would have about an hour of relief and then it would start over. My forearms got so bruised underneath from hanging on it all day. Mike stayed with me the first 6 days and then had to go home to help with kids stuff. I was so sad to be alone but knew he needed to be home. He had to leave Sunday night and Monday I was laying there so depressed because I knew it would be a few days before he would be able to come back down. I was listening to the Tabernacle Choir and felt my bed jerk and there was Diann with Clancey in his stroller and all of Corinnes kids standing there. Then mom walked in and Corinne. I just started bawling. I was so excited to see them. They stayed most of the day with me and the kids explored the WHOLE hospital and it is big. The nurses and staff at the Huntsman are so good to family. Then when they told me Mom was going to stay with me till I could go home the tears started again. Mom ended up staying with me 5 days. It was so good to have her there. It doesn't matter how old you are it still feels good when you are sick. I told her I felt like a little kid again because every time I threw up there she was helping me. We had some goods talks also and would sit and look out the window and just vistit and throw up and then vistit and .........I am so glad she could be with me. It took so much stress off Mike also because he hates it if I am down there alone.
Finally one day I got to thinking if they would quit giving me the nausea medicine then I would throw up faster and I would feel better faster and maybe more often. So I would not take any more and it really did help. I know most people hate to throw up but I welcomed it. After a day or so I started to feel better and yes I started to fart. that is a good thing with this surgery. They wont let you go home till you have your bottom end going and let me tell you the bottom end is working too well now. The diaria is common for this surgery so now I am just trying to learn to eat again. It is all trail and error. What works for one doesn't always work for the other. I have to keep creams on me all the time and it it painful but I would take it over a a bag any day. I have not vomited for 3 weeks now and have even gone into the office a couple of times. I do have to have home health come in and help some. they taught Mike how to do my fluids and I am down to a bag every 2 days now. He is a great nurse with his gloves and all on. By next weekend I should be done with the fluids.
I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. The surgeon cleared me on the 26th of Feb and Dr. Ben-Jacob did my cancer marker on Monday and it looked really good.
I still have to go to each one of them every 3 months for check ups. As soon as my body adjusts to no bag now and no colon and using a pouch instead I should be semi normal. I am still sooooo weak but am getting stronger every day.
It had been a long hard road for me and my family. My family has sacrificed so much for me. I never could have done it with out them and all the help from the ward and friends. It has brought many blessings to us. Also Father in Heaven has been here for us and answered so many prayers. He is probably sick of hearing from me so much. I will talk about that later.
Please be sure to get your colonoscopys. Early detection is so much easier to handle. I dont want anybody to go through what my family and I have had to go through.

Surgery

I went to SLC for my pre op and did my tests but never got to see the surgeon. I have so many questions for him. We will meet next week before surgery. The tests they run were not fun and yes they do invade you privacy big time. I have just come to realize that everybody wants my butt. That is the only way to get through it. Surgery is set for Feb 6, and I am sure I will be first in the morning. My body has finally started to adjust to life without a colon and now I have to learn everything over and learn to live with just my small intestine.
Last Sunday I was in sacrament and started to hurt so bad. I went home early and knew I had another blockage so I had Syd go get Mike and Karli out of church. We went straight to the hospital sure enough I had one. I threw up as soon as I got there and for some strange reason it partially opened up. I told him I would be fine at home and to let me go. I know all the foods that go right through me so I knew I could fix it. He finally let me come home and about 10 that night it started again. I was so sick. It hurts pretty bad but we decided to wait till I threw up and see what happened. As soon as I threw up I started to feel better. It opened up again. So for 2 days all I did was clear liquids. I was starving. But I have been good since.
Nathan said the 2 cutest prayers for me when I was hurting so bad, and I know it was an answer to his prayers that he needed. He has had a hard time with this. He is the most loving and helpful kid alive. He has helped me through so much by his sweet innocence. He even sleeps with a letter that I wrote to him. Those prayers bore testimony to him so it really was worth what I went through to help him. All my family has been so awesome. We have some of our best moments and some of our worst moments but it has pulled us closer together and I love them so much for all there help.
The ward and community has also been awesome. They have definitely passed the test for service, love and compassion.. I love all you guys also.
THANKS SO MUCH TO EVERYBODY
In the last two weeks I have lost 2 of my friends in my chemo group. It has been hard. They both died from colon cancer. America was only 6 months younger than me and Mat was only 32 yrs young. A Friend said I had survive rs guilt and I know I have. I just don't know why some make it and some don't. I am so thankful for Heavenly Father for letting me stay he longer. Like I have said before. I am to ornery for the devil and The Lord doest want me yet so hopefully I am here to stay for awhile.
I will post after surgury. Back to the Huntsman Center I go.
Darlene

last Chemo

Tommorrow is my last chemo treatment I think. It should be. I know my test will show that I am great. It is a great feelling to know that I beat it twice. I will let you know how my test show up but they wont be until the 28 of Jan. My surgurn thinks I been done with chemo in Dec. but what he dont know wont hurt him. I am so ready for surgury on Feb 6. I hope they will leave it alone. Will write with good news later.

Gutless Gal Stolen Colon
Darlene

Ps. should I name my next kid Colon for memories. And no I am not pg.

CHEMO IT IS

After talking to the Dr. i decided that I would go ahead with the chemo and finish out my last 3 treatments. He decided he was more comfortable giving me 3 half dose treatments than none at all, so on Tuesday the 6th I had another treatment. I thought that I would be crying all night Monday night because I had to have a treatment but I was just the opposite. For some reason I was at peace and felt really good about my decision. But On Tues morning my niece Breanna took me to treatment and before I even left the house I was not feeling good. My stomach ached and I was mad for letting my nerves get the best of me. It would not go away and the nurses kept telling me to just relax and calm down. I was getting my treatment and usually my premeds really make me feel good. Kinda scary that I love my premeds but they are awesome. I get real goofy but they work. I was so nauseated and she came and gave me my fourth nausea med. Yup, I threw up right then. Right after that I felt really good. I was done with treatment at this time so i just told my good friend Mickey to take me home. I thought if I just got in bed and drank water I would feel better. The more water I drank the sicker I got. Then I noticed that my Ilyostomy had not filled all day. I was hurting at this time and then Nathan got home and ran to my neighbors Joey and told her "My Mom doesn't look so good." Of course he was scared again.
In the mean time Mike was going to be home in about 1/2 hour but I was hurting so bad I called Joey to take me to the emergency room. I knew I had a blockage before I even got there but of they have to run all their tests. In the process of my CAT Scan I threw up on their table so of course it took longer all the while I am feeling like I am dying. My neighbor Linda who works at the hospital told them to just bypass the CAT and get the tube in my nose (she has had a blockage before and knew what I was going through). So the dumb doctor walks in like he is so smart and says "Well you have a blockage" I just said "duuuuu" What you going to do about it. I really didnt say that but I said it in my mind. I was so mad at him but he was nice.
Finally with some pain killers and more nausea med I started to feel better. But......I had to go back to the hospital. Luckily my blockage was a short one. By the next afternoon I was starting to break the blockage. He came in and pulled my tube in my stomach and gave me clear liquids. They started to work and I told him if he would let me drink OJ I would break the blockage. Finally he said OK if you can have the OJ out in an hour I will let you go home. And the nurse brought me some OJ. I drank it and had her bring me anther one and in the hour I had it out. I still had to stay on liquids for 3 days but that is better than in the hospital. Once again my break and time off from chemo I had to go to the hospital again. It gets really old.
The good thing is my surgery is scheduled for FEB 6 at the Huntsman Center. I am so excited and scared for that surgery. I hope everything just flows this time. It just seems what could have gone wrong through all my treatments, did and I think it is time for a break. I have two treatments left and I am going to do great. I just know it. Love all you guys!