One Year Aniversary

Today is the one year anniversary of losing my best friend "Colon". Really, Mike is my best friend but I sure do miss my colon. Things are getting better but it is a long slow road. I keep thinking of the drive down to the hospital last year and my anticipation, and excitement, and most of all my fear. I remember sitting in the back of the car and looking out the window at everybody going on with life, and going to work, or going to have fun. I thought how could they be doing that when I am fighting for my life! I thought the world should stop also. I know that it can't and it won't and it shouldn't but so many feelings go through you when you have major trials in your life. I never realized how hard it would be to live with out it. It did save my life so I really am grateful for the doctors and the modern medicine that we have now. Sitting in the hospital and waiting, and then the prep for the operation. Mike by my side then the anesthesiologist walking in, and then not remembering the next day of my life. Waking up and seeing Mike with me again after a 7 hour surgery. I love him so much! I will also never forget waking up and having a ilostomy bag attached to me. It was so dreadful at first learning to take care of it and learning how to empty it without getting it on you. I learned pretty fast because after a short time it just became second nature. Not fun but second nature. It really was not that bad. lol I just hated trying to find clothes that would work with it so you did not notice it. I feel for the people who have to have them for the rest of there lives. That would be very hard. Last night I was not having a real good night and Mike ask me if I wanted my bag back. NO! I will put up with what I have to. This picture is of the stoma that you attached the bag to. It is literally a part of my small intestine outside of the skin. It stays very clean is is amazing to watch how it functions. This was a couple of days after the surgery. I decided to spare you on the picture of the bag attached. (Sad so say I did not want one of it so I would not let Mike take one of it. Wish I had one now!)

Also last year, one year from the 26th of July our friends Terral and Trishelle called and was on their way down to Primary Children's with their little girl Madalyn. She had a brain tumor and needed emergency surgery the next day. Sad to say she never made it and her funeral is today. It is a heavy hearted day for me watching her go through what we both went through but my pulling through it and Madalyn not being able to. I am glad for her to be out of her pain and being with her family in heaven.

I am thankful for the gospel in my life and for the many blessing that have come to us. We have been blessed in good and bad ways but heavenly Father has always been there for us. He was with me day and night when I was sick and I felt his presence many times with me and with our family. He is real and he will always be there for us. I am glad for what I went through and for what I learned about him. Also for the special things that happened to us. Many are very private for me but know, he was there and he knows who I am. I love my Heavenly Father with all my heart and I know that he is real. I am also grateful for Eternal marriages and family. It is such a comfort to know that you will always be together.