One Year Aniversary

Today is the one year anniversary of losing my best friend "Colon". Really, Mike is my best friend but I sure do miss my colon. Things are getting better but it is a long slow road. I keep thinking of the drive down to the hospital last year and my anticipation, and excitement, and most of all my fear. I remember sitting in the back of the car and looking out the window at everybody going on with life, and going to work, or going to have fun. I thought how could they be doing that when I am fighting for my life! I thought the world should stop also. I know that it can't and it won't and it shouldn't but so many feelings go through you when you have major trials in your life. I never realized how hard it would be to live with out it. It did save my life so I really am grateful for the doctors and the modern medicine that we have now. Sitting in the hospital and waiting, and then the prep for the operation. Mike by my side then the anesthesiologist walking in, and then not remembering the next day of my life. Waking up and seeing Mike with me again after a 7 hour surgery. I love him so much! I will also never forget waking up and having a ilostomy bag attached to me. It was so dreadful at first learning to take care of it and learning how to empty it without getting it on you. I learned pretty fast because after a short time it just became second nature. Not fun but second nature. It really was not that bad. lol I just hated trying to find clothes that would work with it so you did not notice it. I feel for the people who have to have them for the rest of there lives. That would be very hard. Last night I was not having a real good night and Mike ask me if I wanted my bag back. NO! I will put up with what I have to. This picture is of the stoma that you attached the bag to. It is literally a part of my small intestine outside of the skin. It stays very clean is is amazing to watch how it functions. This was a couple of days after the surgery. I decided to spare you on the picture of the bag attached. (Sad so say I did not want one of it so I would not let Mike take one of it. Wish I had one now!)

Also last year, one year from the 26th of July our friends Terral and Trishelle called and was on their way down to Primary Children's with their little girl Madalyn. She had a brain tumor and needed emergency surgery the next day. Sad to say she never made it and her funeral is today. It is a heavy hearted day for me watching her go through what we both went through but my pulling through it and Madalyn not being able to. I am glad for her to be out of her pain and being with her family in heaven.

I am thankful for the gospel in my life and for the many blessing that have come to us. We have been blessed in good and bad ways but heavenly Father has always been there for us. He was with me day and night when I was sick and I felt his presence many times with me and with our family. He is real and he will always be there for us. I am glad for what I went through and for what I learned about him. Also for the special things that happened to us. Many are very private for me but know, he was there and he knows who I am. I love my Heavenly Father with all my heart and I know that he is real. I am also grateful for Eternal marriages and family. It is such a comfort to know that you will always be together.

Life sure does know who to keep you going doesn't it. I just got back from Colorado on Monday. I took Syd down and we got her registered and almost ready for school. You sure could tell it was our first in college. We were running around like our heads were cut off. We did not know what we were doing! Finally it came together. It was not as hard as we made it so next year it should be alot easier. She had to stay down to a volleyball camp all week. She has been calling and is loving it. They brought in a coach from Oklahoma to do the camp and Syd said she has learned so much. She has made some really good friends on the team. She met with some of them earlier in the summer and they had a party to get to know each other. Since then she has talked to them alot, so it made it alot easier to start down there. On the other hand I absolutely miss her. I never saw her when she was home so don't know why I am being so booby about it. Just knowing she is gone and will be gone has been hard on me. She is just a good friend to me and alot of help. I am excited for her though and excited for her and her new experiences. The coach really likes her and pulled her aside yesterday and just built her confidence so much. He has liked what he has saw so far so I just hope and pray she will do for him what he expects. I have liked him also. Very personable and has always kept contact with her all summer.
Last night Karli, Nathan and I, and some of their friends went swimming. We went for pizza and then swimming. It was fun watching them. They are crazy. Just so glad they are home for me. I hate being alone. Mike was working so we just decided to do something fun.
The flowers in my yard are getting so pretty. I just love flower gardens and the smell of them. I will put pictures on later.

Life in the fast lane!

Life is fast for me. Only when I have to run to the bathroom. Get out of my way! It is getting better but it has been a hard week. Yesterday and today was really alot better. I am really trying not to MURMUR. I read a conference talk on it but when you are still trying to deal with the Stolen Colon it is really hard sometimes. I miss my colon! It will be a year on July 18 since my first surgery. Many memories are haunting me this week but only because it was a bad week.

I sent Mike and Nathan camping without me today but I will join them tomorrow. I needed one more day at home. He is making sure the camper is OK since we have not been up there since last year. We have a RV spot at Cedar Bay in Idaho and we leave everything there so we just have to show up with the food and then camp.

Syd is getting ready to go to school and I am not liking the idea. I will miss her so much. I am excited for her though. She will be busy playing Volleyball and on the road alot. The even get to play in Canada. Karli and Nathan are going to miss her to. The picture is me crying and Karli mad that she did not graduate yet. Next year Karli! I am so glad that they will still be home with me. I am excited for camping tomorrow. We have not done anything fun for along time as a family because of my cancer.

Got my hair cut today and love it. It makes you feel better if you like how your hair goes.